One of my four dogs passed last Tuesday Dec. 20th. Amber Louise was a beautiful soul! She was the best cuddler I've ever known and even at 65 lbs., she'd curl up in our laps with her head nuzzled in the crook of our necks.
Amber came into my life Jan. 27, 1996 quite by accident. I wasn't looking for another pet as I already had a dog and four cats. But someone abandoned 9 puppies in a shopping cart of a busy supermarket on cold freezing day. Luckily 3 teenagers found them and stuffed them in their coats then stood at the market door offering them to all the patrons. As one of the girls slipped Amber out from under her coat, my first reaction was, "Don't even show them to me!" But I saw a beautiful little puppy with big brown eyes and the longest eyelashes you can imagine. She was frightened and shivering from the bitter cold. I offered to warm her up for the kids and well that was the beginning of a wonderful friendship.
Amber came home with me where she melded into my menagerie quite nicely. Although at first Maggie, my English Springer Spaniel completely ignored her thinking, "If I ignore IT, it'll go away." But they became best buddies, running, playing and sleeping cuddled together. Just before taking Amber to the vet to be euthanized, Maggie had her paw around Amber's shoulder and her head resting on Amber's neck. Somehow she knew. They all knew; Raven, Taio, Maggie and Abby. They are also mourning Amber's loss.
Last summer I found a small lump on Amber's snout. I thought for sure it was something benign so I was thrown into a panic when the vet declared. "I don't like that. We have to do a biopsy right away." After a needle aspiration, then a biopsy I learned the terrible news that Amber had neuro fibrosarcoma throughout her sinus cavity, which was inoperable. Radiation and chemo also don't help with this type of cancer. So the only thing I could do was make her life as happy and comfortable as possible. I contacted a well known herbologist in New Zealand who sent me herbs to support her immune system and I started making all her food. Michael, my ex, had a very special bond with Amber, so he brought her Delmonico and Sirloin steaks about four times a week. 
The Cuddler!
I saw the tumors enlarging and Amber's face becoming distorted. Then the tumors started growing through the roof of her mouth. She slept more but continued to happily wag her tail and eat. The vet had told me that it would be time when she stopped eating and stopped wagging her tail. Those simple actions became my gauge of her well being.
Next, she started to bleed from her nose and mouth. Her teeth repositioned and loosened But she was happy to give and receive love right up to the end.
Finally, Dec. 19th her breathing became labored and I was forced to make the decision I'd been dreading. When I realized it was time, even though she still wagged her tail so hard her whole body shook and eating was never a problem, I called Michael and he rushed over at midnight. We spent another three hours saying goodbye and together we took her to the vet. Both of us held her, soothing her as she was injected, both of us sobbing uncontollably. Amber left us Dec 20th at 3:45AM but her spirit lives on..
I miss you Amber and hope you're no longer in pain. You were a much loved friend. I hope you're chasing balls and eating steaks in Doggy Heaven. 
Mommy and Daddy will always love you.
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